We’ve all been there: a teacher is flying through a lesson. New concepts are entering the room at breakneck speed, and your hand is a blur as you take down notes. But it’s not sticking - the teacher lost you about 10 minutes ago. You want to ask a question, to plead for mercy and clarify some central point you don’t understand. But as you look anxiously around the room, you notice something; no one else is asking questions. No one else seems to be lost. Asking a question now might make you look dumb! You decide to keep quiet, and the fear of embarrassment wins out.
There are very few who are willing to call attention to being confused. They can hardly be blamed: to be young is to be, almost by definition, at least a little insecure. Even (and sometimes especially) among more seasoned learners, the embarrassment of asking a potentially “stupid question” is enough to keep many if not most people from asking at all. Maybe the teacher even stops to ask, “Does anyone have any questions before I move on?” and is met with silence.
Obviously, people have questions. If the opposite were true, everyone would ace every test. One of the most important things to learn as a student then, is how to ask a question. It seems trivial: childish even. Preschoolers ask a million questions a day of their parents, and never seem embarrassed about it. The embarrassment is learned, and must be unlearned. To unlearn it is one of the most vital study skills, and yet almost always ignored. All the class attendance and careful note-taking in the world can be wasted if students ignore the most valuable resource there is to their learning; the instructors right in front of them.
And so, all students should be urged: ask that question. Then, ask another one. And another. And another. Soon, you might find something interesting has happened. By overcoming your embarrassment and asking all those questions you have achieved four things at once.
- First, you’ve plugged holes in your understanding. This one is obvious, and need not be belabored. Getting a question answered by an expert is a sure way clear up misconceptions that could otherwise linger indefinitely.
- Second, you’ve formed a connection with your instructor. They’ve seen your face (important in a large lecture setting) and will remember you. Now, if you need something from them later, they already know who you are. Maybe it’s something as simple as an extension on a paper deadline, or an extra ten minutes of office hour while you get more help. To be blunt, any professor is far more likely to be sympathetic to a student they know than one they’ve never seen before.
- Third, you’ve gained confidence. By repeatedly overcoming that fear of embarrassment, that subject and that teacher is no longer nearly so scary. That extra confidence can then be applied to new subjects. Going into a test a nervous wreck never helped anyone.
- Fourth and finally, you’ve catapulted yourself ahead of your peers with your newfound understanding. It’s an uncomfortable but true fact that most schooling is competitive, whether acknowledged or not. And the higher one goes, the truer it is. Classes in high school might not be graded on a curve, but ones in college most certainly can be. Even if it is not a direct competition for the best grades in a class, that competition just gets kicked down the road to every application process, job interview, promotion, etc. Do not be left behind by your peers because you were too embarrassed to ask.
Bravery in the classroom is a learned skill. It may not be the most talked about study skill, but it is one of the most important. So, keep asking questions. Keep pushing for more understanding. The embarrassment of a question is nothing compared to the embarrassment of failure.
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