I lived most of my life in the Bay Area and went to college an hour away from home, which was great for me because I got to see my family whenever I got homesick and got delicious homemade food dropped off to my apartment whenever I wanted. It was the perfect setup. However, when it came time to choose where to go to grad school, I knew I wanted to move to the East Coast. Not only were there more schools that I was interested in on the East Coast, but I was starting to feel a bit suffocated having lived in the same place basically my whole life. Moreover, almost all faculty I spoke to recommended a cross country move suggesting it would be good for my career in the long run. So, when it came down it, picking MIT, which was 3000 miles away from home and everything I knew, was an easy decision for me.
The day I moved to Boston didn’t inspire much confidence in my decision. It was in mid-August, and it was a torrential downpour as my family and I stepped out of the plane. As naive Californians we hadn’t packed any umbrellas or raincoats. We braved the weather, dropped off my luggage in my apartment trying not to get soaked in the process. At that moment, I thought I made the biggest mistake — why was I here in rainy and cold Cambridge when I could’ve gone to grad school 30 minutes away from home in sunny California?
The first month was hard. I didn’t know anyone expect for my classmates and it seemed like everyone else had friends in the area. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to make friends, but everything from the humid weather to the blunt-natured people felt like a culture shock. Moreover, I had lived at home for a year during the pandemic where everything was taken care for me, but now I had to adjust to being an adult again while acclimating to a new city and new life as a graduate student.
Over time things got better: I made friends that I loved hanging out with and started enjoying the beauty of the city I now called home. Slowly, I felt like I could let my guard down and be my true self with friends. Leaving my family and friends behind was harder than I thought, but as I built a family in Boston things got easier. I always think to myself had I never moved, I would have never met some of the most important people in my life today. There are days where it feels very hard and having to fly 6 hours to see my family isn’t ideal, but if I had to make the choice again, I would 100% choose moving coasts. My first New England fall, my first pair of Bean boots, my first snow angel, fond memories with new friends make it all worth it. I am really glad I made the move because now I have a larger professional network and a home and people that care about it me on both coasts.
If you are thinking of moving coasts, do it! The biggest advice I would give, which sounds obvious, is to give it time. You will find your people, I promise. Say yes to party invites, attend events you enjoy and meet people with similar interests. But make sure to schedule time to FaceTime your friends from home as it becomes hard (especially with the time difference) as everyone has their own busy lives. You are so strong! It is really hard to leave everything you know behind and start a life in a new and unfamiliar place, but before you know it, the new place will start feeling like home.
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